I WANT IT ALL.

Britney Spears, Secret Agent

It’s weird how happy this makes me.

The Lester & Charlie Review

culkin

We at the Lester & Charlie Institute of Forward Thinking like to fancy ourselves as being up-to-date on important things. We know how to search Google News, and we get regular Facebook updates from things like LOLCats and George Takei. We’re pretty sure we’re not missing anything important. So it was kinda startling to stumble across the revelation that one of our favorite child stars from long ago is all grown up and torturing Somali pirates.

Really! We all know that some child stars grow up to become drug addicts or media whores, but it turns out that formerMouseketeer Britney Spears is doing something different: Combating evil on the ocean by using her unique talents to make sounds that can drive pirates insane.

We should have seen this coming. We were vaguely aware that Britney’s been making these sounds for some time now, but we hadn’t realized their true…

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